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FattMike [userpic]

Imagine if English wasn't my native language...

October 2nd, 2007 (04:36 pm)

A couple of weeks ago I received my real estate tax bills for the current year. A good time was had by all. OK, so I lie a bit.

Anyway, I open them, and after looking at the amounts due and purging (a new weight loss program -- the tax purging program :P), I read the special information section. And then I read it again. And again.

It says:

Payments made by check only may be placed in the mailbox on the wall located outside the tax office.

I finally couldn't take it anymore and called the tax office. I figured this was a very stupid question, so I mentioned this to the nice woman who answered the phone. I told her what the tax bill says, and asked if that means that if I pay by check it HAS to be deposited in the mailbox outside the tax office. I didn't feel so stupid because she didn't know either, and she transferred me to someone who might know. I mentioned to this next person that I had taken a bunch of stupid pills in the morning, and now she has to pay because of it. So, we go through this again, and she asks if this is on the bill itself. I said it was, and started reading it to her (the second time I had read it out loud), and before I finished the sentence, I realized what it actually says, and that what it SAYS is not what I READ.

What it is, is... ONLY checks can be put in that mailbox, so someone isn't going to put thousands of dollars in CASH into the mailbox. I'm still able to mail the check in, or more importantly to them (and I guess to me, too), my bank is able to mail the check to them, because if they think I'd remember to write them a check, they are wrong. We love scheduling payments in advance. And I love it when I'm able to understand the language I've presumably spoken and written for the vast majority of this life.

So, I guess I was actually reading "Payments made by check may only be placed" instead of "only may be placed". Or, I'm dyslexic. Or, I'm just nucking futz.

And there you have it. My life :)


Posted by: Dandelion (hai_kah_uhk)
Posted at: October 2nd, 2007 09:27 pm (UTC)

I only realized the true meaning when I got to the punchline. So it's not just you! It's like one of those brain-teasers with the trick answers.

Posted by: Brook (lyllian)
Posted at: October 3rd, 2007 04:02 pm (UTC)

I question the sanity of government tax/state taxes/ the people that work there (granted they do make very little money, but they aren't all the unintelligent)

99% of the time nothing makes SENSE!

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